Stuff Dogs Like #2

25 Mar

Dogs like cats bums. I know they like to chase felines, but my dog also finds the fragrances emitted from the derriere of my cat irresistable. Perhaps the area has tones of elderberries and smokey notes like fine wines, but whatever it is or it has… when it strutts past, my dog’s head turns and follows. He soaks in the aroma, first with short, tepid quick-fire snorts… Then longer, deeper intakes of breath into his cavity. He is a connoisseur of cat bum. Feline bum is to him as cat nip is to cats. Then the aromatic intoxication enboldens him and he tries a lick. He dares a few more, quickly, before my cat notices. My cat is always appalled and bemused by this degrading behaviour… he glances pitifully at his canine brother as if to say, ‘I really thought this was beneath you….but, you are only a dog afterall….’ And then my dog has a sense of his own shame… For a milli-second his eyes look sad, his brow crinkles… But it passes and he attempts another lick. I think in the end, there has to be some kind of perk for putting up with a cat in your house if you’re a dog. You can’t put its head in your jaws and shut it, you can’t throttle it by the throat, you should at least be able to get the residue taste of their food which is always tastier than that muck they call dog food. And so it goes, Buster licks Ned’s bum and will do for the rest of their lives.

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